What If?
by Day-Dreaming Writer
Summary: What happens when a Tamora Pierce fan gets warped into Tortall during an earthquake? Someone who knows everybody's dirty little secrets is gonna have fun! Inspired by "How to annoy a Stormhawk" by Smartkitty314. Lady Knight Rating because paranoid
1. Earthquake

What If?

BMX Princess

I collapse on my bed, ignoring my mum's threat about shoes on the quilt. If you had just been to the party that I had just left, your mum would be the least of your problems too. Long story short, truth or dare followed by spin the bottle followed by hysterical friend whose crush just kissed her bff… I hate my life. And because I'm such a great sensible friend, I had to deal with it. I never get to have any fun anymore… no more just stuffing around with people's heads for the fun of it…

"Angela!" You had better not have your shoes on your bed! I ironed that quilt!"

Seriously, who irons quilts? Or sheets, or anything someone sleeps on? "No Mum!" I lie, holding my crossed fingers to the world because she's downstairs and can't see them.

Rolling over and glancing at my latest re-read of Queen Tamora's book, Lady Knight, I am touched by a sense of what if? What if I was in one of Tammy's books? Would my life not majorly suck? Would I be like Alanna, stuck between two men? Oblivious like Daine? Denying it like Beka? Or, I muse quietly, loveless like Kel? Which Kel doesn't deserve at all! If I had it my way, I would shake things up a bit. With that thought I rolled over and went to sleeeeep

I was awakened by a sickening rolling movement like I was on a boat. OMG an earthquake! I ran for the door and wrenched at the handle, trying to run for the bathroom and screaming for my parents as loudly as I could. But when I tumbled through the door, I landed in broad daylight, in the middle of a dirt road, the rocking stopped. But then the rumbling kicked up again as around the corner cantered an entire guard escort, two knights, and a boy on a piebald mare. I shrieked and hauled myself to my feet, yelling a swear word that I had learnt in year 10 at school. **(A/N I was going to add the swear words in here, but then I remembered that some ppl get really offended by what us ozzies call "everyday" swear words, so what would they think of my yr 10 ones? ;P)** My grazed knees bled sluggishly as I threw myself off the road, landing in an undignified heap on my back. OWWWCH. I sat up, mumbling swear words under my breath about how much I hated horses. Suddenly, I froze. A dangerously sharp and pointy object was half an inch from my nose, the head fitted into a wooden pole held by a determined-looking blonde tween wearing a tunic and boots with breeches inbetween. After my initial staring at the spear head like it was hypnotic in case it moved, I glanced up to find myself surrounded by a half dozen now dismounted soldiers with their weapons out and the knights still mounted looking down at me from above. The tall bob-haired brunette one was looking mildly confused at me, although he tried not to show it. The light brown haired man was just looking annoyed at the delay. Meanwhile the brunette's strawberry roan was actually looking at me like I might actually be nice to eat. That was what made it click.

OMG

Taking another look at the hungry war horses rider, I swore under my breath. Looks like my wish came true. I was in the book. That was no guy. It was Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan.

Yer, so more chapters to come! My first fic actually published and done really quickly so I wouldnt have second thoughts! Please Review!


	2. Facts that Strangers Shouldn't know

Heyy I'm back! Sorry it took a couple of days but I wrote it up then hated it, so I wrote it all over again! Sorry if its not as funny this time, but its more a feeling out chapter as Angela says things about stuff a random in the middle of the Old Giantkiller road shouldn't know...

Oh, and thanks to my wonderful reviewers, J. and MissyMappy who informed me that its ok to swear! I only put mild ones because I typed some of this up in the middle of my ancient history class _

Disclaimer: I dont own anything in this story, except Angela, who is mildly based on a wannabe version of myself.

To the story!

I couldn't help it, I gaped.

And gaped.

And gaped some more.

Finally, one of the soldiers growled, "Stop ya starin' lassie, the Lady ain't got two 'eads." Tobe jerked his oversized spear at my chin, as if to emphasize the soldiers point.

"Yer didn't your ma ever tell you it's not polite to stare with your mouth open, catching flies?"

"Didn't the Lady Knight ever teach you that it's not polite to wave sharp objects in people's personal space, just caus they happened to be on the damned road when you went past?" I snapped at the boy, this situation was making me really bitchy. "Don't you tell me I'm not polite, Tobeis Boon."

Oops. I think I might have taken that a _little_ too far. Tobe roared and jump tackled me, which wasn't hard as I was still sitting on my bum in the dust. My martial arts/defence/slight ninja skills (and I confess, the final scenes from the Lion King) kicked in as the beast of an 11yr old soared towards me, yelling in blood red anger, and I held my hands in front of my face as he landed. But just before his body weight made complete contact, I pushed my model-like legs straight into his stomach, launching Tobe back into the air before he ever truly left it. See, Disney movies are educational and awesum, no matter what my horror loving friends say. Anyways, as the momentum carried me over my head in a backwards tumble roll, I managed to actually land on the balls of my feet! Wooh I felt like a real ninja for a second. That is, until I stood and turned around to see Tobe lying like a drunk on the ground in front of me. Suddenly mad at myself for turning my awesumness against an 11 – seriously 11 – year old boy I took a step forward to offer him a hand up. He stared at me with murder in his eyes and I sighed. My long night was making me soft and impatient.

"Look, I'm sorry, but never judge a girl by the mascara she wears, ok?" I could almost feel the confusion staring at me from around the circle. "Just cause I'm wearing _face paint_ *insert eye roll* doesn't mean I am either a bitch, or a delicate little porcelain doll, ok? Now let me help you up. I know I insulted you and your Lady and I apologise." Wow big speech from me, and since when am I a pacifist and apologise so easily? I must be tired…

Tobe looked at me hard at me for a second before grunting and allowing me to haul him up. That kid is heavy. He muttered something under his breath. "What missed that."

"I'm sorry, I know it ain't right to shove that pigsticker in your face when you could need help, but we are at war, and I mighty suspicious of anyone…" he continued under his breath.

I just looked at him until he gestured at me and said, "well, someone dressed in just their underthings."

Looking down I suddenly realised that 21st Century Earth Party Style probably wasn't all the rage in Tortall during Jon's reign. Blushing, I nervously tugged the back of my mini shorts down, and my tank top up.

"Who are you and where do you come from, are you a refugee?" Kel had decided to speak at last.

Turning to face her, inspiration struck. I'd always thought the Yamani's were similar to the Japanese. Well here goes nothing… I bowed Japanese style, and began to speak.

"Lady Knight Keladry, hajimemashite. Watashi wa Angela desu. Watashi wa ju roku sai desu." _It's nice to meet you, Lady Knight Kelandry. I am Angela. I am 16._ I finished with a traditional saying when meeting people. "Yoroshikuonegaishimasu." Pause. "I come from far away, a land you would not have heard of."

Silence.

Then, Kel raised her head, Yamani mask in place. "Yoroshikuonegaishimasu."

Success. I could have danced or yelled 'come on' at the top of my lungs. Cool.

Kel was staring at me. "So… Angela. You are not from here, you dress in strange fashions and you have an accent that adapts itself to common and Yamani. Where are you headed?" She suddenly demanded. But before I could reply, Neal broke in hysterically screaming,

"Can't we just go already? Bring her with us if that will make me get to my Yamani Blossom quicker!"

I snickered. I couldn't help it. Poor Yuki.

"Neal… I don't know abou-"

"Girl, do you have a destination?" the hysterical healer pointed his finger at me.

"Ummm… no…" I broke off coughing as the wind whipped dust into my face.

Neal grinned. "She obviously has an illness. As a healer I must insist that she is brought along to be treated at Steadfast." He suddenly looked relaxed and happy. Geez, mood swings much?

Kel stared at Neal then at me. Trying to break the awkwardness, I muttered, "erm, shouldn't you be checking Tobe? Last person I hit had bruised ribs…"

"Yes. Tobe, double with Neal. Angela, you are going to ride next to me on one of the pack horses. I need to talk to you before we reach Steadfast and…" she broke off.

"Lord Raouls wedding?" I asked eagerly, my excitement no doubt shining through my eyes.

"Hmpf. Yes, well, we need to talk about how you know things. Things that a foreigner, as you claim to be, should not know."

As I mounted the packhorse and tried to remember how to ride one of the ugly things, one thought kept echoing through my brain. Shit, thank god I'm a good liar.


	3. Interrogation and Upsetting Kel

Ok, Number 1, I am sooooo sooooo sooooo sorry for not updating, I hate how people do it with stories I am reading, and I will try not to be like that. I have an idea about what I want to happen, but I am open for ideas. This is kind of an inbetween chapter, soooo sorry if its a bit anticlimatic after the wait.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story except for Angela (who is badass). :)

I stuck my tongue at the door closing behind the tall lady knight. One of the Kings Own, a corporal, grinned at me before locking the door. At least he had enough of a humour to laugh with a prisoner.

I sighed and surveyed the room. To be honest, it looked like a cheap hotel, except if I trashed it I doubted someone else would clean it up. There was a table and a chair as well as a camp bed and a small sink. Servants quarters? What happened to no civilians in a military base? Oh well at least I won't be getting acquainted with the Steadfast dungeons. Still… maybe it was my fault that I am what is looking like an unofficial prisoner. You know, like one of those cheat sheets off the internet you download, the ones that 'don't exist'? Yeah, that's me. But I guess I had tried to lie my way out of it…

*Flashback*

"Ok, I don't know who you are, only that you know things you shouldn't."

"ummm, I'm a … seer … like Irnai."

"How do you know about Irnai?"

Seriously, that girls voice could have frozen lava in its tracks when she said that.

"I'm a seer… I sense other seers?"

"Don't ask me, tell me. You're lying. For someone fluent in Yamani, you don't react like one."

Ok, maybe I wasn't as good a liar as I originally thought. But seriously, wouldn't you be a bit shaky after the whole I-am-in-a-book thing.

"Ok, then truth time. I am a teen girl from Australia, Earth. We are currently in Tortall, and depending on what Tamora reckons, we may or may not be on Earth. Though it must be medieval times if we are on Earth." I paused, musing over that. It never really occurred to me that it might be in a different dimension or just another time.

"uhem."

"oh, right. Yer, um what did you want to know again?"

Kel rolled her eyes. Well at least she isn't screaming at me and threatening to cut my throat. Oh wait. That's Alanna.

"You. Are. A. Stranger. Who. Knows. Things. About. Tortall. That. A. Normal. Person. SHOULD NOT KNOW! Now either you tell me all about how you know about Irnai and Tobe and that I was headed to Steadfast for my Lords wedding! And besides, I have no idea what you just said." Kel visibly stilled her features and all the anger drained away. Woah, I just saw the mask at work! Awesum!

Suddenly, a horn call sounded from in front of us. We had arrived.

*End Flashback*

My musing was interrupted by the sounds of the men from the Kings Own talking outside my prison door. Like an awesum spy/ninja, I started to eavesdrop. But they were just rambling, nothing interesting at all. That is, until they suddenly stopped talking. The door unlocked and in walked Kel followed by a giant of a man, who even dwarfed Kel and I (we were both built like models), and a midget of a wranger. She had a sword at her side and was staring distastefully at my clothes. Seriously, if I hadn't of changed out of my bikini before I came home from the party, I think I would have had people calling dirty names at me as I walked through the fort.

"You said your name is Angela, right?" The wranger demanded.

"Yeah, so?"

"Kel said that you recognised Tobe and Neal just because they were with her, correct?"

"Yeah." She was ticking me off. The Giant decided to speak. I'd already figured out that he must be Kel's old knight master, Lord Raoul.

"You also claim to be a seer, and mentioned something about another dimension." He said it with the kind of voice you use with SNU's (A/N Inbox me if you are not familiar with this term and would like a further explanation but it's basically another way of saying crazy or stupid person). I folded my arms and pouted at him.

"No, I said I was a seer because I wasn't sure how good Kel was at reading people. I said that I'm not sure if I am in another dimension or just a fictional medieval time on Earth. And the reason I know these things…" I smirked. "are my secrets and I would like to say that there are many more where that came from." An evil idea had formed in my mind. How much did these people really know about each other?

Cold, slightly confused looks met me. Even the Corporal was starting to wonder whether he should shut the door incase I tried to make a break for it. I suddenly recognised him.

"Wolset, shut your trap. Did you know that the whole time Kel was with Cleon and riding with Third Company she had a HUGE crush on Do-!" A small dagger had found its way out of Kel's boot and onto my throat. Sh*t. Not good.

"Another word, and I will kill you where you stand." Kel's face was perfectly smooth and her voice even. It was so much more scary than if she was yelling at me.

"You can't kill me!" I screeched. Yep, no such control on my part.

"And why not?" I could almost FEEL my blood pouring down my neck she was pushing that hard.

"Well for one, what else do you think I know? If I know that, I might also know how D- I mean the object of your affection – how he feels." It was my ultimate weapon. Girls couldn't resist knowing if their crushes like them back. Unfortunately, I didn't know if Dom felt that way towards her, I mean come on, she sees him maybe five times in Lady Knight, and has actual dialogue with him twice? Seriously Tammy, you stuck me in a tight spot here.

The knife disappeared from my throat. "Do you?" Kel challenged me.

"Well… No."

The knight gave an angry cry at being tricked and jerked her hand upwards was if to poke me with her dagger again. I threw a quick crescent kick at her, knocking the weapon flying. Steel slid against each other as the wranger drew her sword and Raoul followed suit. I stood in a ready stance. But there was no way I was going to fight them. Hell no. Not with Wolset running to get backup. If it was just the three of them… jokes guys. Seriously, Angela Williams is not suicidal.

"Alanna put that pigsticker away." I waved my hand at her trying to look unconcerned about the serious hardware these guys were pulling out. "I know you know Shang moves that Liam the Shang Dragon taught you. When was the last time you used them?"

Silence. AWKWARD.

"Who are you? What do you want? What do you know?" Alanna's voice was so quiet, I almost couldn't hear her.

"I'm Angela Williams, I want out of this room, and I know that your old cat Faithful is a constellation, the Goddess's cat, and was companion to Rebekah Cooper the Bloodhound, your husband's ancestor."

Take a chance to breathe… stunned silence…

"What? You weren't even alive then! Who told you?" Here comes that damn bloody sword again.

"Tamora Pierce."

"Is she a goddess, to know such things?" Huh I didn't know Raoul was one of those kind of people.

I smirked. Maybe I could get out of this after all...

"You could say that."


	4. Bribing Peachblossom & Mistaken Identity

Sorry guys, I went away for two weeks and had a big BMX meet but I really wanted to write this one good! Ok, here it is!

Disclaimer: No darling reader, I am not Tamora Pierce, but I worship her and her writing (in case you hadn't guessed already)

PS. I love all my reviewers, but I cant find your names cause this website hates me!

Two hours later, these facts had been established.

I was a hazard, but had blackmailed Alanna into letting me out.

Tamora Pierce is either the goddess who created this dimension, or simply the messenger who writes down all the important history of Tortall and the god-touched to distribute to parallel worlds.

Kel was DEFINITELY in love with Dom, but refused to talk on the matter.

Numair's truth spell has either gone wrong, or the crazy chick was actually from another world.

"Now that that has been established, can you please get me some other clothes? I will start my investigations at once!" I announced smirking triumphantly at my gathered audience, consisting of Alanna, Kel, Raoul, Numair, Daine, and Buri. Neal had been sent from the room after I had recited some of the lines of poetry from his page years (causing a reaction similar to spontaneous combustion).

"What investigations?" Buri asked suspiciously. Kel was quiet. Hmm strange, she must have realised that I know the most about her…

"Well, the ones I need to find out about certain people for certain lady knights so they can ask them to escort her to your wedding of course!" I grinned so big, I seriously must have been the snapshot image of little kid who'd been on skittles for a week. Silence met my announcement. As one, all the people in the room turned slowly towards Kel. Damn, was she gonna _kill_ me.

"And who would that be?" Raoul asked, a dangerous edge coming into his voice.

"Nobody." Good for you Kel, a girls automatic reaction is to deny everything.

I shoved my way in front of her and glared at Raoul.

"Don't you bother Kel now, she had nothing to do with it. It's just one of the things that I know, and I am going out to figure out something I don't know." NTS, smiling at hostile crowd isn't going to make them like you more. New plan.

"Well, can you at least get me another pair of clothes? I look like a…( insert pathetic look at myself here) sniff sniff… wahhhhhahhhhahhh" My sobbing and wails caused everyone to jump to attention, and Numair and Roaul (being blind to the ways of women) practically bolted off to find me some more 'inconspicuous' clothing.

"Wow, you guys have them trained up wayyy better than my boyfriend." The women all laughed, I'd broken the ice!

"Well, Roaul isn't used to me crying, so he can't handle the sound! He thinks that if he does whatever it is fast enough, us women will stop." Buri's evil grin gave me chills.

The men returned puffing in their haste to find something. They wordlessly held out a pair of breeches and a tunic, and something else…

"OMG!" Everyone visibly flinched from my screech. "Where did you find this?"

They were holding a black leather Gucci, the kind that holds just about EVERYTHING a girl could ever need when she goes out. And not only that, but it was MY Gucci. The one that I left in my room after the party…?

"Errr, Wolset just said one of the men from New Hope had it with him and they didn't know what it was, so he reckoned it might have belonged to you." Raoul answered me, rubbing his ear.

"It's my handbag! OMGOSH! I can't believe it." True too. How did it get here? Then it hit me. When I reefed open my doorhandle and tried to run out, I'd tripped over something, could it have been my handbag? Maybe I pulled it through the portal with me. I couldn't remember where I'd dropped it when I got home. I began hauling stuff everywhere, tossing my digital camera, mobile, Tamora Pierce books, spare clothes… wait! Tamora pierce books? I scrambled for the paperbacks, quickly hiding them from view. Buri, Kel, Alanna and Daine were too busy looking at my skirt and strappy bra with what-the-! expressions to notice and Numair was testing the camera with his gift, jumping when he pressed a button and the lens popped out.

Very carefully, I checked the covers of the books. A fiery red head clutching what looked like a living ember around her neck. Four books in one. Alanna's whole story up until her engagement to George. The next was a close up of a young woman's face, with luxurious brown curls falling in a mane around her face along with its sequel. Emperor Mage and The Realm of the Gods. Finally, a blank faced girl holding a baby griffin in her scarred hands stared at me from the covers. Squire. I suddenly remembered that Lady Knight was on my bedside table at home. Beneath that was Trickster's Queen.

"Whatcha looking at now, Angela?" Buri's curious voice asked me.

Panic surged through my veins, I couldn't let her see them, she'd tell the others that I actually had a copy of these books that the supposed Goddess Tamora had written. Besides, if I was in Lady Knight, then Daine wasn't married and giving birth to Sarra, Aly was still in Tortall, and, and, well all this stuff hadn't happened yet! For all I knew, Dove and her family could be happy in the Copper Isles with their mother! That trickster's queen book could be deadly stuff indeed.

"Nothing Buri, say where did my camera go? I can take a picture of all of us!"

Ultimate distraction. Pics. "Oh, Numair has it! Wait don't do that! Oh sh*t you almost deleted my entire year's supply of photos! That's it. U-no touchie da camera, kapeash?" **(A/N I can normally spell ok, but if something turns up weird, just sound it out. I spell things how they sound) **"Alright, no kapeash. Just don't touch it, or you might damage the memory chip with all my pics on it. You know what, never mind."

What a bunch of SNU'S. Jks, guys jks. I think someone has mind reading capabilities around here. They just gave me dirty looks. Or maybe they can just read my face. Yamani I am not.

*2 Hours and lots of running later*

"Puff Puff Puff" Man, was I buggered. I had successfully annoyed Alanna (again) and she had threatened to lock me back up, but Buri came to my rescue and assigned me an escort around the fort. I managed to slip Peachblossom an apple while Wolset stood way back with a young blonde man who I had figured out to be the new Queen's riders commander, Evin Larse. I have always been curious about him, as Tamora never mentions him except when he's in trouble about something, such as almost dying for kissing Daine. So you could say that I wanted to know if his lady was Miri Fisher **(A/N as most fanfic authors write about them being together)** or if he was still going after the engaged noblewomen. So I slipped on my most flirtatious smile which I reckon was a complete disaster, but anyways. I proceeded to poke and prod at his love life. Let's just say, he's not going to be taking me to the wedding, oh and I hope that Miri likes Evin, and doesn't already have an escort, because I think I made him mad enough that he is currently on his way to ask her instead. Either way, he chased me until I ducked through the stable and hid behind Peachblossom, who bit him. I knew I was being smart when I gave him that apple. I said as much, too.

"Tobe says to tell you that Peachblossom only ignored you because he saw Larse coming and he thought he might squeal as loud as I do, but since he didn't I think you might want to move."

I jumped out and found Neal, who was eying Peachblossom with disdain.

"What are you doing here?" I had to ask, no one had seen Neal since he ran off with Yuki after my poetry recital. We had all expected to not see him until tomorrow.

"I could ask you the same thing, being chased into asylum by Larse. What did you do to make him so angry?"

So I told Neal and he laughed. Laughed! I figured that after my performance this morning, he would hate me. I mean, everybody else in the place didn't exactly like me. I don't know why, what with my sparkling friendly personality and all. Yerrrrr right. I knew exactly what was the problem. Meh. I was having too much fun to care. Suddenly my stomach rumbled noisily.

Neal sighed. "I guess since you lost your escort I had better take you to the mess then."

"Hey! Not my fault they ditched me!"

"No you just hid behind a crazy horse after picking on the commander of the Queens Riders. Not your fault at all."

Sarcasm much? By now we were walking across the yard of the fort and I could hear someone calling for Kel somewhere behind me. I ignored them and kept listening to Neal. They would run past us in a second to get to her. The voice was really loud and I could see Neal was starting to recognise it. But I couldn't see Kel anywhere…

"Kel! There you are! Why didn't you stop, surely Meathead's not that interesting!" An arm grabbed me and whipped me around to face the speaker. Before I could make sense of what was happening, my eyes were drawn straight into the sapphire pools that Kel was so in love with…

Ohhh! I wonder who THAT could be? :P Angela getting mistaken for Kel? I don't think that's gonna go over well at all! Feel free to send me a message with ideas, comments, flames, watever!

Love you now, and forever, BMX Princess 3


	5. Stutterings and Threatenings

Hi guys! I would tell you all sorts of excuses about why I haven't updated, but you have probably heard them all, so I'm not going to waste your or my time. Anyways, thanks to my reviewers from the last chapter, Aria657, Books-Are-My-Only-Love, Joy1206, Slytherin Ice Princess13 (also known as my evil pixie friend lol) Marqueza and Waiting for the Night. In response to Marqueza's review: for the sake of the story, they are both of a similar build and have similar hair colour, though Angela's is longer and slightly curly. Also, the rest of this story (again Marqueza's question) is sitting in my imagination somewhere waiting to be let out. Oh! And a big thanks to all the people who added this fic to their story alert list, you make me feel appreciated!

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, places, etc in this story.

I watched as his deep eyes changed from amused to confused, to shock as he jerked back, letting me go. I self consciously ducked my head. I knew my eyes weren't the hazel he had thought. I also knew that the almost black that I did have scared most people. 'Eyes are windows to the soul' superstitious freaks would whisper, and 'who but a dark soul would have such eyes?'

"Terribly sorry," Dom stuttered. "I saw you with the Meathead and presumed… I mean, from a distance you…" He stumbled again, trying to be polite. I took pity on the poor sergeant.

"You thought I was Kel."

"Uh, yes." He was sending nervous looks towards Neal. My sympathy turned out to be short lived, as I shot a murderous glance at the healer, sending him scurrying off to find lunch. I turned back to my real target, and launched straight into my interrogation.

"And why, Dom, would you be running after Kel like she was, I don't know…" I leaned in to whisper. "your lady love?"

His eyes widened so much I thought I would be able to give Kel a pair of sapphire earbobs, they were in so much danger of popping out.

"I tell you what Sergeant. You ask Kel if you can escort her to Raoul's wedding, and I won't tell Neal that you two are in love with each other before you can figure out how to do it without me having to help him hide your bodies." A quick wink and a hip swinging walk away from Dom, and anybody who was watching would think that I had been flirting with him in hopes of a date. What I was really doing, was trying to use my mistaken identity to Kel's advantage. Well, that's what I'm telling her anyway. Personally it's just fun to mess with the sergeants rattled brain. I mean, for all I know, he could be seeing Kel walk seductively away, and just might ask her to the wedding. Not that I had anything to do with it, no not at all.

Ok… I know its short and disappointing after my long absence from your screens, but… think of it as a filler. Feel free to get mad at me via review or PM, it sometimes motivates me (this does not apply to you, Slytherin Ice Princess13, who is not who I based Angela on at all). Later, BMX Princess


	6. Plans Gone Awry

Disclaimer: This belongs to Tamora Pierce and I am not trying to steal it!

It was dark outside, and thunder was accompanied by the strikes of lightning that lit up the curtains around the room, making Lord Raoul's hiding place evident. However, if the guests thought that it was odd that he was hiding at his own celebration they showed no sign that I could see from _**my**_hiding place, as he was not alone this time. I sighed, watching dainty heeled shoes and polished boots dance past me, while a chattery squire mumbled to himself as he presumably grabbed drinks for someone named 'Margery' or wateva.

Lightning struck again right outside the fortress, making me squeak. Unfortunately, it also caused my foot to jerk out and crack some poor bugger in the shins. The curses that followed even made _me _blush. The tablecloth twitched and I blinked Bambi-eyed at Neal, who was glaring while one hand was pressed to his leg with light the same colour as his eyes pulsing from it. HEY, awesum, the gift! I wish I had my camera right now.

"What," he drawled at me, "in the name of the gods, was that for?"

Thunder rumbled and caused me to jump again, almost giving poor Meathead another bruise. His face turned mocking.

"Oh, the big bad scary girl is afraid of the storm, is she? Hiding under a dining table from the lightning?" This time he took a step back to avoid my fist.

"It's not the only thing I'm hiding from," I muttered. I had it on good authority (cough Tobe cough) that Dom had taken my advice and asked Kel to the ball her majesty Thayet had organised for after the wedding before I had a chance to tell Neal bout them being all 'lovey-dovey'. Unfortunately, they had yet to make an appearance and I was hiding before Kel could kill me for putting him up to it the way I had.

"What?" Neal asked me.

"Nothing, now help me out."

Finally after I'd been considering going and finding them myself, the doors opened and Kel walked in. She was laughing and grinning, almost looking like she was having a good time despite the low cut dress that had nothing to do with me (cough). Oh remind me to tell you what colour Alanna's face turns when you start talking about her birthday when she dressed as a girl in a black wig. She will do anything for you, even sew. Anyways, as Kel walked into the room she looked as happy as a girl with a new manicure. And I was just about to congratulate myself when out of the shadows stepped Merric, laughing along with Kel.

I was furious. No, that was too mild. I was so furious; Mithros himself had better not mess with me. I am kind of mad at the male species right now. Firstly, I looked for Dom. He was nowhere to be found. Ok, time to kick my finely-tuned stalking skills into gear. Yr 8 taught me things. Stalking guys is only one of them. Once I found them…

On my way to kicking Dom's butt, I ran into another male I was mad at. My informant, Tobe.

"Tobe," the poor boy looked terrified. Oops, I must have left a bit of evil on my cheek… "I heard something interesting today; do you know what that was?"

Tobe was taking small steps backwards, but they were getting bigger each time. There was a slight tearing noise as I advanced on him, my nails had become a bit ragged since my last manicure (half a week ago back on Earth!) and I was gripping my dress so tightly that they'd torn the skirt. Damn. Normally that would have been enough to send me into self-imposed social exile, but right now I was stalking myself some prey.

Tobe suddenly lost his nerve just as we reached the edge of the room and bolted for the door. Sadly for him, I happen to be an absolute athlete when it comes to running in heels. As you can guess, he didn't get very far before I swooped in and grabbed his arm.

"Let me go, Miss! I swear, Dom knocked on lady's door and asked to speak with her, and I left because he looked like a man possessed and the lady has been muttering his name in her sleep so I, I…" Tobe suddenly shut his mouth realising he'd said too much.

"Tobe… you what?"

"I left before the mushy stuff started! I thought they was gonna start kiss'n. 'N I didn' wanna be round when it happened."

I suddenly felt sorry for him. He obviously thought that Dom had been about to ask Kel, and by all appearances, he had but Kel had already accepted Merric as her escort. Double damn. That stuffed all my blackmailing for the day. Meh at least I had fun.

WHO AM I KIDDING? Since just before lunch, I had blackmailed two extremely eligible bachelors into asking out two very unlikely partners, threatened Alanna so well that she had adjusted Kel's dress that Third Company had stolen (I only had to ask them, they thought the idea was hilarious) and also managed to find one for me that she'd then stitched in such a way that I wasn't too upset with the long skirted style, which was in my opinion, soo old fashioned. And all for what? I have had all my plans ruined! Well, maybe not all of them, I just caught sight of Evin pushing Miri up against a wall as I went to stalk out. Tobe had wisely disappeared while I was distracted. Suddenly feeling worn out, I was just about to leave through a side door and go hide out with Third Company. Wolset seemed to like me and maybe they had a nice prank to make me feel better…

"Kel?" the voice was so soft, I almost didn't hear it. I spun around slowly to find Dom standing behind me with a slightly hopeful look on his face. It promptly disappeared when he saw me properly. My voice quavered slightly. I couldn't help it; it was hard seeing such a good looking guy seem disappointed to see me.

"My eyes?" He shook his head.

"Kel wouldn't wear something like that."

"Oh."

It was true. The dress was a deep russet red, with a fitted top that laced at the back with gold ribbon in the style of a corset. Gold netting puffs on my upper arms created the illusion of sleeves. A golden sash was tied at the waist, with a bow at the hip. The skirt brushed the floor, but it was slitted on one side almost up to the waist to reveal a petticoat of gold netting like the sleeves. Overall, it sent the message, "come hither" without showing anything inappropriate. But Dom was most definitely right, Kel would freak at the sight of it. But the look on Dom's face was enough to break even my semi-frozen heart.

"Would it help?" He looked up at me.

"Would what help?"

"If… if you pretended I was Kel."

"… I don't know, Angela." A pause. "But I'm desperate. Dance with me."

I couldn't help but accept. I moved clumsily, not being used to the style of dance. However Dom just laughed and pulled me closer, and I was almost sure that with my face turned down to watch my feet that he almost forgot that I was Angela Williams, the crazy heartless girl from an unknown dimension. For just a song, I was his Kel, the strong woman he fell in love with.

Dom was a great dancer, and by the end of the song, I would have been happy to keep going through the next one. It was the most relaxing fun I'd had since I got here. But Dom had other ideas. I laughed when he spun me around as the band died down, but almost like he was in a trance, Dom's arm wrapped around my waist and he stooped in to kiss me…


End file.
